With
increasing tensions at work and with greater expectations of lasting romance at
home, relationships nowadays are challenging for almost everybody. Acquiring a
better understanding of where your mate is coming from will surely make your
relationships easier. Increasing tolerance for our differences doesn't imply
passive acceptance of a problematic or emotionless relationship. Rather, a
healthy adaptation is based on true insight that helps us to understand our mates
better and react in ways that are more loving and will inspire the better in
them.
Without
the awareness that we're supposed to be different, men and women are at odds
with one another. We commonly get angry or disappointed with the opposite sex,
as we have blocked this crucial reality. We expect the opposite sex to be more
like ourselves. We want them to “want what we want” and “believe the way we
believe”.
We
erroneously assume that if our mates love us they'll respond and behave in
particular ways—the ways we respond and act when we love somebody. This
position sets us up to be frustrated over and over and keeps us from taking the
necessary time to communicate lovingly about our differences.
Men
and women commonly are unaware that they've dissimilar emotional needs. As a
result, they don't instinctively understand how to support one another. Men
typically provide in relationships what men want, while women provide what
women want. Each erroneously presumes that the other has the same needs and wants.
As a consequence, they both wind up dissatisfied and resentful.
Next
time you're frustrated with the opposite sex, recall men and women are
different. Even if you don’t recall anything else, remembering that we're
supposed to be different will help you to be more loving. By gradually giving
up your judgments and blame and persistently inviting what you want, you may
produce the loving relationships you wish, require, and merit. You’ve a lot to
look forward to. May you go forward to develop in love.
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