How Listening Helps You Control Others

Listening is one of the most important necessities of human communication. If you don't listen to people, you are missing out on one of the best ways to influence people. People will always listen to you when you listen to them. One of the greatest influencing tools is listening. When you listen to what's on a person's mind, you will find that communication barriers are broken. Even if you think you know what they are going to say, listen to them. If you are a bad listener, people will think that you are not interested in them. People will like you if listen to them. How do you feel about people who listen to what you have to say? Isn't your admiration for them high? Others will feel the same way about you.

Eliminate All Distractions

Distractions inhibit good talkers and listeners. It is important that you remove all distractions when listening to another person. You want to create a very warm and comfortable atmosphere for the talker.

What Questioning Will Do

Questions we ask people arouse their thinking processes. When you arouse people's think processes, you give them the chance to express their own ideas and feelings. The only way you will find out what you want to know about another is by asking questions. If you are able to help people think on their own they will respect you and like you. You have been able to do something for them that they were not able to do for themselves. By listening to others, you also fulfil their need to feel important. Through your concern, they feel special.

Keep the Conversation Open

In order to listen, you must keep the conversation open. Some people won't tell you everything on their minds, so you may have to question them to keep the conversation going. All of your questions should relate to who, what, why, where, when and how.

What Questions Do You Ask?

The questions you ask must have a specific purpose. If they don't, you will lose credibility. You must ask questions the person understands. Don't confuse other people by asking complicated questions, such as questions with many parts. Ask them one part of a question at a time. Try to get others to tell you "why." "Why" is one of the best questions to ask people. The reason for asking people questions is to get definite answers. Your questions should prompt definite answers, and they should discourage others from guessing at the answers. The therapeutic value of questioning is lost when people guess at answers.

How to Resolve an Argument by Listening

I have solved many arguments just by listening. It may be hard to believe, but it really works. It works when someone is trying to get his point across to you, and when he is yelling and telling you how right he is. Even if the argument is meaningless, here is how to deal with the situation so that you come out on top.

The first thing you should do is listen to what the person has to say without once interrupting. This is where your listening skill will come in handy. You should say "yes" or "I understand" occasionally to show the other person that you are really listening. It is important that you agree with the other person's point of view. If you don't think the other person is right, you must at least let the other person know that you understand his point of view. When the other person is finished saying what he had to say, ask him, "what can I do for you?' This statement throws many people off because they don't expect it. You will find, after using this technique that most people give in to your point of view. The reason for this is that all people really want is for someone to listen to them.